Get Out of Your Own Way: How Shifting Your Perspective Can Change Your Life

We’ve all been there. A setback, a failure, or even the thought of failure creeps in and sends your mind spiraling. It’s easy to let those moments dictate your next steps—or lack thereof. Disappointments can mess with your psyche, making you question your worth or whether your goals are even achievable.

But here’s the thing: setbacks aren’t roadblocks; they’re opportunities in disguise. The way you choose to interpret and respond to them can either hold you back or push you forward.

Let me share a conversation I had recently with someone who wanted to compete in collegiate powerlifting. He was passionate about the sport and had big dreams, but there was one thing holding him back: fear. Specifically, the fear of failure.

“What if I don’t do well?” he asked.

So, we unpacked it. I asked him, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

He thought for a moment and said, “I come in last place.”

"Okay,” I replied. “But what good could come out of coming in last place?”

At first, he struggled to see anything positive about the idea. And that’s normal. When you’re focused on the possibility of failure, it’s hard to see beyond the sting of disappointment. But this is where a shift in perspective makes all the difference.

The Danger of Letting Your Feelings Dictate Your Future

When you face a setback, it’s natural to feel upset. No one likes coming in last place or falling short of their expectations. But the real danger lies in what you do with those feelings.

Let’s say he came in last at his competition. He could let that outcome get the best of him. He could allow the disappointment to fester, convincing himself that powerlifting isn’t for him. Maybe he’d quit, give up on fitness altogether, and slowly drift away from the passion that once ignited him.

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t’s a slippery slope. One moment of self-doubt, left unchecked, can cascade into a series of choices that take you further away from your goals and your potential.

Reframing the Setback as a Benchmark

Now, let’s look at the other side of the coin. What if he came in last but chose to use that experience as a starting point? Instead of letting the disappointment define him, he could acknowledge it, learn from it, and decide to grow.

Coming in last isn’t the end—it’s data. It’s a snapshot of where you are right now, and it gives you something to work with. You can analyze your performance, identify areas for improvement, and set clear goals for your next competition. It’s not failure; it’s feedback.

This shift in perspective is powerful. It takes the sting out of setbacks and turns them into stepping stones. Instead of feeling defeated, you feel determined. Instead of giving up, you dig in and push forward.

The Mindset Shift: From “Woe Is Me” to “What’s Next?”

Life is full of moments that can knock you down. But the key is to reframe those moments. Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What’s next?”

Think about it this way: every successful person you admire has faced setbacks. They’ve failed, stumbled, and come in last more times than they’d probably care to admit. The difference is, they didn’t let those moments define them. They used them as fuel to keep going.

When you choose to see setbacks as opportunities, you reclaim your power. You’re no longer at the mercy of your circumstances. Instead, you’re in control of how you respond and what you do next.

The Takeaway

The next time you find yourself staring down a setback, take a deep breath and ask yourself:

1. What’s the worst that could happen?

2. What good can I take from this?

3. How can I use this as a benchmark to move forward?

Remember, the discomfort of failure is temporary, but the lessons you take from it can shape your future. So, get out of your own way. Shift your perspective. And use every setback as a stepping stone to become the person you’re striving to be.